expendableasset | IC INBOX

I might suck at the whole "social etiquette" thing but we probably shouldn't be continuing this conversation over text. It's kind of like

serious, you know.

Where?

Soup kitchen. It's public so you know I won't totally fly off the handle at you.

[ and he'll be waiting, hanging out in one of the pews. he looks like he's trying to keep his expression neutral and failing terribly, as he looks visibly ruffled. ]

[Coincidentally enough, that's where Katsuya is staying, so all he has to do is wait for Tim to arrive while his stomach ties itself into knots. He goes through three cigarettes in the process.

He's actually perched mostly out of sight on the roof--he's found heights to be comforting, recently, and doesn't want to dwell on the possible reasons why--and sees Tim go in the church; Tim doesn't seem to have noticed him, thankfully. He waits a few moments longer, psyching himself up, before putting out what he's currently smoking and sliding more-or-less gracefully off the roof, to walk through the entrance after Tim like a normal person.

He walks up to the pew where Tim is sitting and just stops, at a loss for words again. Eventually he sits down in the same row, the aisle across--within speaking range but still a safe distance away--and waits.]

[ tim looks up when he hears the sound of approaching footsteps. he takes a moment to take in how different his friend looks -- the baggy clothes, fully-grown wings, and his unstyled hair (he's so used to that specific slickedness that it throws him for an odd loop). no matter how he looks, though, he's alive, and that's what matters. it's enough to get tim to crack a smile through his otherwise unpleasant expression. ]

Hey.

[ it's a pretty casual greeting for how he feels right now, but it'll have to do. ]

I'm glad you're back, but like I said, I really should kick your ass.

[He doesn't smile back, just looks at Tim flatly before flicking his gaze to the pew in front of him. He knows he has to look like shit. On top of everything else, he hasn't been sleeping well lately either, partly due to his own mental state and partly due to not knowing how to with his wings. He's only barely just got balance down.

He doesn't want to do this, but he has to. It's his own fault he's in this situation.]

I wouldn't exactly have the right to stop you.

Yeah. I'm not gonna, though.

[ tim watches as katsuya deliberately avoids eye contact and exhales a long sigh. the question he asks next is stupid, he knows. ]

Are you holding up okay?

[Katsuya looks back up at him sharply, incredulity all over his face.]

I--what?

[Wasn't Tim coming here to chastise him?]

[ chastising's part of the deal, yes, but so is making sure he's okay, so clearly it's time to repeat the question more slowly and with the specific inflection of are you stupid? ]

Aaaare. You. Holding. Up. Okay?

[Despite himself, Katusya bristles, rearing back and looking at Tim through narrowed eyes.]

I heard you the first time. I don't understand why you're asking.

Because you're kind of my friend and all?

[ come on, katsuya, you're smarter than this. tim gives him a look right on back. ]

[Katsuya isn't actually so unaware not to realize what Timothy is really asking, but a particular brand of self-loathing has been bobbing at the surface of his personality ever since his death in the woods. It's...nice, honestly, that Tim still has such concern for him, but considering what he's done, it's not exactly a concern Katsuya deserves.

He'd rather feign ignorance than have to talk about it.]

I've...been eating, if that's what you mean.

[ tim's skeptic look softens a notch or two and he leans back against the pew, giving his head a small shake. ]

Part of it, yeah, though the bulk of it is me wanting to know how you're doing handling your brainmeat.

[ the borderlands way of doing things: approach important topics with stupid-as-fuck terms to bring the situation to a middling level of seriousness tinged with absurdity, because, you know, being too serious is uncomfortable. ]

[The look he's giving Tim sharpens.]

I didn't come here to talk about my feelings, Mr. Lawrence.

Well, tough shit, because we are.

[ for a second, he almost wants to say something like "you owe it to me", but it sounds way too manipulative. he searches for a way to convey a similar sentiment. ]

Surprise, surprise, I do actually care about your stubborn ass. I want to know how you're doing, like, for real.

[Katsuya makes a frustrated noise and leans back against the headboard of the pew, sighing heavily. He is nothing if not stubborn, and right now he wants to dig in his heels and say something noncommittal like "as well as can be expected," but he also knows a losing fight when he sees one and if Tim is really this determined to get a conversation out of him then there's really nothing he's going to get out of resisting it except a headache.]

Not well. [He scrubs his eyes, then adds, almost by way of reassurance:] Hanging in there.

I figured as much.

[ tim's not stupid; he wasn't expecting a bubbly, positive answer -- that is, unless katsuya decided to go the route of sarcasm. ]

You staying here right now?

Yes, I have a friend with rooms here. He's been kind enough to let me stay for a while.

[He's far overstayed his welcome, truth be told, but he feels like he doesn't have anywhere else to go. The idea of going back to the apartment he has with Hans is...uncomfortable, for some reason.

He feels like he should say something else, but he's at a loss, and Timothy is the one who wanted to talk, so...a petty part of him decides to let him be the one to talk, if he wants to so much.]

That's good.

[ alright, he has a place to stay, he's been eating what he needs to, he's not doing great mentally but that's to be expected...going through the checklist. ]

You know Ema and I don't hate you for this, right? We both get it.

[Instead of answering Katsuya shifts like he's trying to get comfortable but can't quite manage it, whether just because his new appendages don't quite fit within the pew or he's just not able to calm himself down or a little of both. He's not entirely able to process what Tim's telling him, it's hitting a nerve that's still too raw.

The silence stretches. When Katsuya finally does decide on something to say it comes out a little wobbly.]

I'm not sure how much that really matters.

[ tim thinks something along the lines of you probably hate yourself enough to make up for it, but figures it'd probably be shitty to actually say. ]

She wants to hear from you when you're ready.

I'll get in touch with her.

[He's not sure what else he can say, but he feels like he needs to say something, and he definitely doesn't want to continue on this topic.

Back to the old standby.]

How...how have you been.

[ dear lord, katsuya, you're just as socially impaired as tim is. he shakes his head, half-laughs incredulously. ]

Great. Recovering from the fact that I almost choked out one of my first friends here.

[ he follows up to soften things. ]

I could be doing better, but I'm alright.

[Katsuya looks at him sharply, all his own anxiety forgotten.]

I-I'm sorry, what?

[He has absolutely no clue why Tim would bring up something like this out of nowhere.]

You...you strangled someone?

[(there's a tingling at the back of his neck, like he already knows the answer to this and if he presses he'll just have to confront something he's not ready to, a strange sense of dread that he can't place)]

[ tim's mouth presses into a thin line. he stares for a moment before lowering his head into his hands. ]

You're a fucking idiot sometimes, Kats.

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< notjack >

<KS>

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, TIMOTHY LAWRENCE. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.37.122.98 * <jimothy> has joined 019.37.122.98 <jimothy> Hey, this is, uh <jimothy**> Well, you should know who if you're messaging.